Age: 32
DOB: January 16, 1978
Location: San Clemente, CA
Trade: Surf Shop Manager/Longboard Shredder
Surf Photos: Daniel Frank
ST: In the spirit of my town I will answer with this “SANTA CRUZ BITCHES, EAST SIDE WHAT WHAT!!!” Then the reader thinks to them selves soooooo typical.
BM:How old are you?
ST: I have never been born and I will never die. Birth and life is just a doorway that you go in and out of. So my age is immeasurable time is irrelevant. What is relevant is in the present moment. OK I have a 32-year-old body. I just want people to think I’m soooooo deep.
BM: How long have you been surfing?
ST: 20 years so far. It’s the longest thing I have ever done.
BM: What got you in to longboarding?
ST: Basically my dad rode a longboard so I did. Later I fell in love with the power and grace longboard surfing has to offer and I started to meet guys my age that road longboards and shared the same passion I have for the sport. People who get into longboarding at an early age and stick with it seem to have a different perspective on surfing than those who end up riding shorter boards we are the minority when it comes to our thought process on surfing. At least in my experience.
BM: You got a girl friend or boy friend hey man I’m not judging?
ST: No Boy friend and No Girl Friend. I’m at the point in my life were I would like to have a life partner but the minimum requirement would have to be a vagina. I like Vagina’s a lot.
BM: Who are you riding for these days?
ST: The correct way to ask that question is “Whom are you riding for?” Get it straight man. Well Noll Surfboards, which is clothing and Jed Noll surfboards. We have been doing some cool stuff. Jed opened a shop in San Clemente called Noll Surfboards and I have been managing the shop since the shop opened. In that time we have done a small line of clothing and rash guards. I’m really excited to help bring the Noll Family name into the future of Surfing. It’s a real family deal and I’m grateful to be apart of it.
BM: If you didn’t surf what would do?
ST: Probably be a successful human being in the bull shit social terms of money, house, hot women and cars you know typical, douche bag bling bling needs and desires. By that I mean the value of your existence is what you have not who you are. Thank god I surf and my basic desires of surfboards and surf are met more often than not.
BM: Describe your perfect contest circuit?
ST: The perfect Longboard Circuit would be 2 contest at a long point and 2 contests at a big barrel wave and 2 contests at a beach break. The Judging is on tip to tail surfing. If you only tail surf you cant get above a 4 if you only Nose ride you cant get higher than a 4 but if you combo all of it together you can get higher scores all the way to a ten if the ride is good enough. In Longboarding (I believe) people put to much emphasis on one style of longboarding or the other. I believe the middle ground of mastering both of them is the answer.
BM: Any weird diets, eating habits?
ST: Yeah I like to take a bath in Pepto Bismol wearing only 1 black sock while a variety of multicultural people yell at me and shove coconut cream pie in my face and tell me im a bad person until I cry my self to satisfaction. I know its weird but it’s the only way to get my hunger slaked. DON’T JUDGE ME! YOU GO TO HELL! YOU GO TO HELL AND YOU DIE!!! Sorry I got a little angry there. Next question please.
BM: You a nose picker?
ST: Ever since I was negative 2 years old. I love a good nose picking session and I don’t care if any one knows. I’m a nose picker. I pick my nose first thing in the morning, all day and before I go to bed. I love it. I’m picking my nose right now.
BM: If some one were to say something bad about you what would they say?
ST: Steve gives too much. It’s difficult to look at him because he is just too good looking. Steve’s concept of the greater good for the human race and his solutions for world peace is just too self-sacrificing for him. Oh and they might say that Steve suffers form self-absorption and visions of false magnificence. But whatever; people are just jealous. Scoffers can be scoffed. That’s what I always say.
BM: If some one were to say something good about you what would they say?
ST: He’s a good cook, a great snuggle bug, he is very prompt, he has a mean roundhouse and is one hell of a model American.
BM: If you could live anywhere in the world where would you live and why?
ST: I think about this a lot because there is no place like California. You have so many options for surf here in California. So many different types of waves that offer power or play. I like were I live. I’m right where I want to be. Every thing that is important to me is in California so I’ll stay here and visit everywhere else.
BM: How much time do you spend on facebook a day?
ST:None anymore. I canceled my Facebook account. It just gives me anxiety. I don’t really need a bunch of people to know what I’m doing in my day to day. I’m just not that big of a deal. I know what your thinking. “Well yes you are Steve you’re the biggest deal since Jesus” but I humbly would have to say “No my child I’m just another longboarder that puts his pants on my leg a time.” Just kidding. Could you imagine if I was like that? I know some Narcissistic fuckers in longboarding that actually think there that big of a deal. It’s crazy.
BM: Top five fav bands?
ST: I can’t stand these questions because it give the person an opportunity to show how terminally unique they are through there music. They will tell you some obscure bands that no body has heard of validating their individualism. Oh wait I’m projecting sorry. GOD DAMMIT I’M NOT ANSWERING THAT FUCKING QUESTION!!1!
BM: Tell me what you would like to see in the future for longboarding?
ST: Well that depends. Do you mean how would I like to see longboardes dress or surf? These are important things to clarify because how well you dress really determines the success of your longboarding career.
BM: Surfing Dick! What would you like to see in the future of “longboard surfing”.
ST: Oh OK sorry. I Steven C. Thomas would like to see more well-rounded longboarding. Tip to tail Longboarding all day long.
